I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
