You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
