i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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