We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
