i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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