hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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