I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
