sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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