I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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