For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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