shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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