I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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