Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
