yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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