I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Bring me that man meat
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
