Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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