I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
