all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
