dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
