every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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