I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
