I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
