I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The uberlube is also flammable
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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