My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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