I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
