Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
