if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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