i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize