im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
