Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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