He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
