I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
