She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
