I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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