Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
