Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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