How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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