Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
