please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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