i don't like sucking hair
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
