When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
worst night to have a conscience
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
