You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
