I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
