Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
