I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
