Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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