Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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