if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
