there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
