this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
